Singlehood, Dating, etc...

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How does it feel to be single? It depends on the individual, but for me:

-lonely at times
-feel free at times
-more to do things on your own at times

These are just some thoughts I feel being "single", but the way I personally see it from what I've heard or read Biblically-it's an awesome "season" in my life to grow personally with God!

Yes, I can grow with God when I get married too, but it's not the same (according to speakers I've heard so far).

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am."-1 Corinthians 7:8

*Please don't take this verse literally, but look at the whole context of the Bible (e.g. Genesis 2 on "not good for a man to be alone)

*see Bible

There are times that I say to myself "I'm glad I'm not married" because there are some issues in my life I need to workout before I get married. I wouldn't want my future wife to go through what I'm currently struggling with. I want to be "ready" in God's timing, so I won't go through as much struggels we in society see in marriages.

5 Minutes Bible Study - Parents Without Partners 6

" Loading... PARENTS WITHOUT PARTNERS, 6 by Dr. Harold Sala Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
You have become a victim! Your private world collapses. Your husband or wife walks out on you. What do you do? Here's what people do. Yell, scream and viciously attack the one who hurt them. Deny what is happening. Retreat and run. Move without leaving a forwarding address. Struggle with a sense of failure, certain that you are the problem. Feel guilty. Transfer your anger to someone else and take out your frustration on that person (hopefully not your child). Keep up a front—smile, but cry privately. Get so busy you don't have time to think about what is happening. Start plotting your revenge. Refuse to see your old friends. Talk to an attorney or check out the local Mafia and get even.
Honestly, when your private world collapses you are incapacitated, paralyzed by your pain and troubled emotions. Have you ever watched a movie showing how veterinarians will shoot a tranquilizing dart into a wild animal and the powerful animal begins to drag his feet, then slowly fall to the ground, and go to sleep? That's what you would like to do, but you can't. There's nothing to tranquilize your pain unless you anesthetize your life with a drink or drugs.
Getting on with your life is not easy, but you've got to do it. In God's sight, you are a person of value and worth. You count! And if man's extremity is God's opportunity, then you're a prime candidate for God to start working on the canvas which needs some help.
After my book Joyfully Single in a Couple's World was released, I appeared on nearly 50 talk shows, and most of the callers were single parents. Among their comments were the following themes.
Challenge #1 is getting your life back together personally. This means handling your anger, your frustration, and, certainly, your rejection. God is included in this transaction as well, because everything that happens to you affects the whole of your life: body, soul, and spirit. When you realize that God wasn't the cause, that He didn't fail you but someone else did, you can turn to Him and find His strength and help in rebuilding.
Challenge #2 is relationships. Callers said that they not only lost a husband or wife but they also lost a complete circle of friends. "All of our friends were other couples," one woman lamented, "and they dropped me like a hot potato." This means you have two options: live with loneliness and bad feelings or decide that you are going to get on with life. You begin to assess your strengths and make plans for the future.
Challenge #3 is managing both time and money. In a sense, managing time and money are similar. You don't have enough of either, and at the end of your day you are weary, and at the end of your month you are in debt. What's the answer? Learning to budget and prioritize is part of the solution. Since you can't do everything or buy everything, you have to determine what you will do, and learn to stop and refuse to feel guilty for what you can't do. Is that possible? Not only is it possible but it is an absolute must.
Challenge #4 is handling your emotions. When you have been wronged, bitterness begins to set in like a frost on a cold winter morning. The more you introvert and feed your bitterness the more you become a loser. What's the answer? Prayer helps you vent those feelings of anger, along with talking to a trusted friend, but not your son or daughter. The sooner you can forgive the one who hurt you, the easier it will be to build a bridge across the pain you have experienced and get on with your life.
Finally, strive to remember that others have worked through the mine field in which you find yourself. They made it, and with God's help, you will as well."


Are you divorced? Are you single and have kids? Have a boyfriend or girlfiend and have a kid together? Well, the Bible mentions you a lot!

4But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.-1 Timothy 3

More related verses (search "widows" Bible Search

I was watching the music video called "Irene" by Toby Mac and the video shows a young lady that has a kid. The video starts with her boyfriend getting an argument with her. From there, she takes her baby in a stroller through their (Latino?) community as Toby sings. At the end, she meets her boyfriend with a gift. The song encourages young "Irene" to not give-up despite her circumstances as the Lord is watching her and will take care of her. Cool huh? Give it up to Him no matter what your circumstances are in your relationship.

Last night you had a dream you was the homecoming queen
Today you're 18, happy birthday Irene
quit school you had to drop out to raise your little child
Doesn't seem to be anyone around
You've got to reach up to touch rock bottom
The powers that be keep you downtrodden
Daughter of Zion, I heard you prayer
Just cast your cares and please beware of snakes
They come in all shapes and sizes
Tempt you, put scales on your eye lids
Don't waste your sorrows
They'll give you strength tomorrow...tomorrow
Your Calvary's about to come so
Keep your head up, don't you ever let up
This storm will pass you'll be ready for the next one

more...from "anysonglyrics"


As a single-male Christian, I can give this personal advice to single people out there. Don't be in a hurry because God is just preparing you for the best mate in His time! He still isn't finish working on you in your life being single. Yes, it can be frustrating at times when you see couples holding hands in public around campus-kissing, hugging, and smooching! Don't worry, it'll be your time! Till then, look at your circumstances and life as a training season as God the Potter wants to mold you for that perfect mate of yours. I was at Chi Alpha last Friday, and I shared with the majority single men there that He is doing and will continue to do a work on you when you do get married. Focus on working with God on your weaknesses, bad habits, and struggles/issues during this off-season. You do not want to bring some of these into your marriage because those beginning years are going to be tough. How do I know? I see it with friends, young married couples, and divorced/widowed/single moms.

-"I wished I didn't marry your father"
-widow raising 2-3 kids by themselves as their "dead beat" dads found another woman
-not being able to do what they want to do (can be selfish at times) since they are too occupied raising their kids at a young age
-"I got married at too of a young age"

*Note: I've heard successful stories despite some of these circumstances or sayings above, which God works the better of their situation when they do decide to follow Him

Again, Heavenly-"Father knows best" and He doesn't want to give you something that you can't handle yet. We are all unique individuals and growing in different times compared to your peers and people overall around you.

What are some steps I can take now being Single?

- Keep persevering in your daily walk with Christ, so when you do get married-you can take these daily habits and encourage your spouse. -Instead of taking self-pity of yourself being single, minister or encourage others by spending time in "acts of service" with other people that maybe lonely: senior citizen home, developmentally disabled youth/adults, mentor youth, widows, poor, international students, etc...
-Act as if you were married. I heard this from my local christian radio station one day-"don't stare/oogle/lust towards others of the opposite sex because it's considered adultery to "look" (lust) at a "married woman" (verse). How do you know if they are married? Well, you don't, so don't take a chance doing this to anybody in the first place. You won't do this when you are married, so practice not doing this when you are single.
-do your friend or someone in your local church a favor by babysitting their kids. You'll be a blessing to them. Plus, this is a good preparation skill by the time you have your own kids! -learn from the mistakes of the couples you know, so you can avoid repeating what they did in your own life. Also, people in the Bible:

-David�s (�peeping tom�) affair with Bathsheba 2 Sammuel 11
-Abraham�s trouble with 2 woman �Sarai and Hagar Genesis 16

Be careful what your thoughts feed on

We can easily admire and envy others-especially what we see on t.v., magazines, internet, movies, romance books, etc... "Sex" and "Love: finding in the wrong places or is defined the opposite of God's description in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) is all around us, which we can sometimes get deceived that "everybody is doing it". For example, I came into a friend's house and he was watching "Animal House" (college faternity party movie). In one of the scenes, a young teenage girl asked the guy besides her if he was a "virgin". He said "no", which the girl responded suprisingly "no?"-as if it's a "bad" thing! This is very similar to what I experience growing up with the "guys" in high school, which they thought I was "weird" or "gay". Don't buy into their immoral ridiculing! You got to remember that humans are tempted into quick satisfaction and pleasure (e.g. sweets, chocoalate, caffeine, etc...), which can lead to some serious consequences (e.g. HIV-AIDS).

Advantages of Being Single

Paul talks about the advantages of being single (some will be temporarily or all their life-Matthew 19:10-12) in 1 Corinthians 7, which is a good chapter to read relating to this topic. An older Christian married woman shared (paraphrased) this with me after I gave my personal testimony at a Christian function:

"Sal, take advantage of the time you are single. You have all that time to spend time with God and serve Him. I wish I could do this, which I never have the time (maybe exaggerating a little bit) to do this after I got married to (anonymous)."

Here are some other advantages based on my perspective so far:

-you don't have a certain time to go home and you can freely go about wherever you want (first ask God on how you can use your time being single)
-learn to not be dependent on anybody (God does want us to depend or rely one another to certain extent)

Disadvantages of Being Single

Genesis 2:18
"two is better than one"

Equally "Yoked"

What does this mean? You should be equal in faith you plan to marry someone as a Christian. Why?...

" 2Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. 3And he had ...
".... 4For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father."
-1 Kings 11


Recommended Resources


  • Men, personal goodnewsumm site
  • Mozey On Inn, Minnewaska Area Singles

  • Contact: Bonnie at 320.634.4626 or Mike 320.634.3827
  • Widow, personal goodnewsumm site
  • LA: Women, personal goodnewsumm site




  • "Culture of Self", by Crosswalk
  • “Nice” Christian Boys and Girls Make Me Sick… September 11, 2007

  • *referred by a bro-in-Christ (Oct 15th of 09') thnks Eric B.!
    "WARNING: The following post IS graphic…I use some language that may be considered offensive by some. This is NOT an apology…just wanted you to know!
    I had the privilege of speaking at Clemson’s FCA the other night and I felt led to go in a direction towards the beginning of the message that I hadn’t planned on…and so I want to expound a little on a few things here.
    I said, “My daughter is going to date one day…and the last thing I want her bringing home to meet me is a ‘nice Christian boy.’ If she does that I will probably have to punch that dude in the throat!”
    Why? Simple–nice Christian boys are one of the reasons Christianity is not advancing the way Jesus has called us to. Why? Because a “nice” Christian boy will go to church, Bible study, raise his hands in worship and then go back to wherever he lives, sit at his computer look at porn and masturbate. And “boys,” it’s incredibly difficult to lead the charge against the gates of hell with your pants around your ankles. (Uh…this isn’t just college students–some married men are struggling with this as well! AND let me say I’ve struggled with this and the Lord delivered me from it seven and a half years ago! Here is a post I did on the subject.)
    (YES…I said that word–and if it ticks you off then I invite you to get your head out of the sand and face reality…in fact, I did an entire post on the subject of masturbation…you can read it here!)
    And the LAST thing I want my daughter growing up to be is a “nice” Christian girl. Why? Because these are the girls who WILL NOT necessarily have sex with a guy…but are not afraid to have oral sex and then justify their actions by saying, “well…we didn’t ‘do it!’”
    We don’t need anymore “nice” Christian boys and girls…we need men and women who are madly and passionately in love with Jesus…who have a Philippians 3:10-11 mindset, who take Hebrews 12:2 view in life, who realize Philippians 2:5-11 was the BOLDEST move ever made and who want Matthew 22:36-40 to be true in their own lives.
    Someone who is in love with Jesus just doesn’t care–they do not care if they are single, they want what Jesus wants for them. They do not care what people think about the type of house they live in or the kind of car they drive…they just want to see Jesus lifted up–even if that means sacrifice. They do not care if they are blogged about and/or ridiculed–they want to know Christ more and more and are willing to do ANYTHING He asks them to do.
    One of the clearest marks of a disciple in Scripture is OBEDIENCE to Jesus. (John 14:15) We can have all of the knowledge in the world–but information without application is degradation! The Bible says in Psalm 95:7-8 that if we hear His voice that we should NOT harden our hearts.
    Question–is there anything that God is calling you to do? Anything you need to stop doing? Anything you need to start doing? What is it that is going to take you from being a "nice" follower of Jesus to becoming someone who is radically in love with Him?
    We all fight this battle…I know I have. In the past I have overcame a pornography addiction AND also an addiction to reading what was said about me on the internet, whether good or bad. WHICH God revealed to me was actually pride–the sin that got satan kicked out of heaven! AND I am constantly fighting daily to do what Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:2 says to do!
    BUT–the LAST thing I ever want to be is a "nice" Christian man…I want to be a fully devoted FOLLOWER of Jesus Christ…the term Christian today has been so neutered! I don’t even like it anymore. (Stay calm…the term Christian is only used three times in the New Testament.) I’ve been that “nice Christian guy” in the past–but I want MORE…I want to see John 3:30 come true in my life!!!
    What term do I like? JESUS LOVER! I want to be known as a Jesus lover…someone who is passionate about JESUS! My wife needs me to be in love with Jesus. My daughter needs me to be in love with Jesus. NewSpring needs me to be in love with Jesus. WHY? Because when I love Jesus I will do what He says…and that is NEVER a bad thing!
    "Nice" Christian boys and girls will not change this world…EVER…all they do is put on a good front and then "live like hell" and think that no one sees. (I Samuel 16:7) BUT JESUS LOVERS…they are “all in!” Do they make mistakes? HECK YES! BUT…when they do so they ask for forgiveness, REPENT and then move on.
    My passion is to raise up a church full of men and women who love Jesus…who don’t just play games but go all out to do whatever He asks. I am trying my best to do this…will you join with me? Let’s REALLY commit to knowing Christ and allowing HIM to be known through us…and let’s turn this world upside down for Him! He did it with some guys in the Gospels…I’m crazy enough to think He can do it again!"

    *see "The Church is a bunch of hypocrites…why are so many Christians so hypocritical?"
  • "The Single Truth: Challenging the Misconceptions of Singleness With Gods Consuming Truth", by Christian Books
  • Singleness, Inspiration, encouragement, and support for Christian singles who desire to live purposeful lives for Jesus Christ.
  • Books

  • I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
  • College

    Sexual Peer Pressure - Staying Christian in College Pt. 7

    "The college environment is sexually charged, especially since no parents are around. How does one maintain their faith with such a promiscuous campus social life all around?"


  • Compatibility Love Test-How Compatible Are You With Your Date? compatibility love tests, from

  • "Compatibility Love Test Key 1- Shared Common Faith
    Have you both accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour? Okay, you’re not dating an unbeliever, but are your denominations compatible? Do your spiritual gifts complement each other for ministry to each other, and as a couple ministering to others?"

  • Relationship Compatibility Test Categories By Alexander Stern Platinum Quality Author

    *need couples participation
  • The Religious Compatibility Test written by WitAndPain, from
  • Close 1000 Questions For Couples , from (book)
  • Dating

    Are Traditional Dating Practices Wrong?

    "Radical ideas for dating and marriage from Debbie Maken, author of the book Getting Serious About Getting Married"
    -Online Sites:

  • Christian Cafe

  • *site where I found Ry (7/27/09).woo hoo!!
  • Friend Finder
  • Ministries

  • Single Mom's Ministry of Calvary Chapel,in Philadelphia
  • *Special E-Mail Forward Story*


    You long to give yourself completely to someone...
    To have a deep soul relationship with another...
    To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

    But GOD says:

    "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by
    Me alone...

    With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me...To having an intensely
    personal and unique relationship with Me alone,
    discovering that only in Me
    is your satisfaction be found, then will you be
    capable of the perfect human
    relationship that I have planned for you.

    You will never be united with another until you are united with
    Me...Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
    exclusive of any other desires or
    longings. I want you to stop planning, stop
    wishing, and allow Me to give you
    the most thrilling plan existing...

    One that you cannot imagine.
    I want you to have the best.

    Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just expect the greatest things..Keep
    listening and learning the things I tell you.

    Just wait, that's all.

    Don't be anxious, don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have
    gotten or that I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want.
    Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

    And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you will ever dream of.

    You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you can't experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and is thus the perfect love.

    And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, in My time. I want you to see it in the flesh, a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

    Know that I love you utterly,

    I am GOD Almighty.
    Believe it and be satisfied."


    While I'm Waiting by John Waller {Fireproof music video with lyrics}

    *see Life-Marriage, Weddings, Covenant with God, etc... Outreach


    "Single and Saved"

    "Wait for Me"-Rebecca St. James

    I remember this song when I went to her concert in Alexandria years ago. The story behind this is song is that we should wait for God's best (soul mate)...
    Transformed GenerationDubbed "God's Girl" by a leading Christian magazine, music artist Rebecca St. James' song remains the same: to preach Christ to her generation. Interview by Jen Abbas
    " You are known for your commitment to prayer and purity before marriage. What advice would you give to the 20-something feeling pressure? < Rebecca St. James "Transform" Transform by Rebecca St. James St. James: I'm there I'm 22. The thing I'm really aware of is that we've got to wait for God's best. We don't need to settle for second best, and that's something I share in concert: live God's way, because His way is the greatest way. His way rules. Don't get messed up in the junk that so many people get messed up in. I've had so many people come up to me and say, "I got involved with drugs and alcohol, and I had sex outside of marriage, and I regret it now." Don't get involved with the junk. Live for God. Wait for God's best. I'm willing to wait for a husband who will love me as Christ loved the church, somebody that will truly love me. And if he truly loves me, he's going to be patient and he's going to wait for me and he's going to want me to wait too. That's true love.
    While I'm single, I can be totally focused on what God wants me to do now. I can also be growing in maturity and preparing myself for my husband. I think one of the joys of marriage is anticipating that, dreaming about it, being excited. At the same time, I can also have guy friends that I hang out with and enjoy as I wait on God's best and wait on His time. "

    Social Issues


    Adultery and Fornication - Today's Christian Videos

    "What is the difference between Adultery and Fornication? €“ What do you call a relationship between two single people of the opposite sex who move in together?"


    Christian Sexuality (shut down) - Inspirational Videos

    "more videos at Culture tells us to be uninhibited about sex. Christianity broadly communicates "don't do it". How can single Christians express their sexuality without shutting down?"



    Nick Vujicic's Inspirational Talk-Life Without Limbs 2 of 4

    "Life Without Limbs, Gospel, Inspirational Talk, Hope "
    *see Life-Meaning, Purpose?, Christian Life: Belief, Faith, Hope, Trust, etc...., Challenges-Physically, Mentally, Handicapped, Vulnerable, etc...

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